I hear the Introvert all too often apologizing for being introverted. It frustrates me at times because it builds up the myth that being introverted is wrong, a social handicap, or a poor business practice. The goal should be not to apologize for being introverted but to use the introversion in such a way that it becomes an asset to you and to those you serve.
To start doing this, it would be wise to communicate with those around you that you are introverted and tend to approach things differently. Let people know that you tend to need to marinate on things before landing on a response. I used to feel pressured to come up with an answer to certain questions right on the spot, and still do feel that way at times, but I've found that embracing my thoughtfulness as a strength, consistently communicating this need to others, and then actually delivering wise and clear responses works very well.
If someone asks me a question that I need to think through, I'm getting to a point to where I don't feel pressured to respond immediately, but I'm able to fight that urge and instead respond by confidently communicating that I need to think this through and get back to them. And guess what? They are always happy to do so, and not once has anyone responded negatively to this. Not only does it send a signal to them that I think their question is important enough to merit some extra thought, but most of the time I'm able to come back very soon with a well thought out and clear response.
So don't apologize for the methods that lead you to success, but embrace embrace it as a strength, and I think it will improve how the Introvert contributes and the respect that others give to the Introverted Soul.
Montreat Weekend Internal Processing Part II
This is Part II from yesterday's post about the Montreat Weekend:
3. Equipment- a HUGE concern and stress was equipment. This was because we were going to have to bring ALL of our own equipment (drums, mics, cables, speakers, etc.) and have to set it up on Saturday night. We then found out a couple of days prior, that there was an event occurring on Saturday Night and Sunday morning, and were told that we would have to set up all of our equipment late Saturday night (starting at 9PM), could only rehearse until 11PM (due to a noise ordinance), move all of our equipment off stage to accommodate the event the next morning, then move all of our equipment on stage following the morning event (ending at 9:50AM), and be ready to start playing prelude music at 10:15 AM. WHOA! I was STRESSED! But we trusted in the Lord, loaded all of our equipment, and headed to Montreat praying for a miracle. WELL, when we arrived, we discovered that there was a band playing music for the event, and they said we could use ALL of their equipment. This meant no need to worry about setting up, tearing down, etc. because it was already set up and would be set up the next morning. So while we did have to load all of our equipment and tote it up there, we didn't have to worry about any set-up and tear-down, and the stress of time constraints were washed away. We realized that we would NEVER have been able to have made everything happen it if weren't for that miracle. PRAISE THE LORD!
4. Devotion- that Sunday morning, we were feeling pretty awestruck at the Lord for what he had already done on our trip. We held a devotion following breakfast in which we discussed idolatry. We spent 45 minutes talking through some biblical concepts of idolatry, and how we can apply that our lives and our worship. Well during the service, there were 2 congregation responsive prayers that took directly from passages of scripture on idolatry and used other wordings that spoke about idolatry. WOW! We all started looking around at each other, feeling totally weirded out!
5. The Response- as I said, even through all the amazing reminders the Lord gave us about His faithfulness, we were still nervous about playing for the more traditional congregation. Following the sermon, we walked on stage to lead in "Revelation Song." As I said, the sermon centered around scripture that were right in line with the song, so we were hopeful the congregation would see the link, and be moved by the music. But "Revelation Song" is a pretty rocking song at times, so there was still uneasiness...but...WHOA! Frances Reid sang the solo of the song, and sang it beautifully, the rest of the band played with excellence, but more important the Spirit moved in a powerful way during the song. The congregation actually erupted in applause after the song was finished, and we were left with feelings of humility at how big God is and again left totally awestruck. Countless people approached us afterwards with compliments and words of encouragement.
All of these illustrations of God's faithfulness are just echoes of the resounding theme of the experience: When we are weak, He is STRONG! All of us in the band came into that experience feeling weak and afraid because we were stepping into the unknown. But thankfully we were stepping into the unknown by faith, and the Lord honored that by knocking us onto our knees and putting us in a state of surrender, allowing us to experience is awesome strength and sovereignty. Through every experience we were all humbled even more, moving us into a state of dependency and weakness; fertile soil for the Lord. What an amazing experience of holy revelation, and one that I will not soon forget!
3. Equipment- a HUGE concern and stress was equipment. This was because we were going to have to bring ALL of our own equipment (drums, mics, cables, speakers, etc.) and have to set it up on Saturday night. We then found out a couple of days prior, that there was an event occurring on Saturday Night and Sunday morning, and were told that we would have to set up all of our equipment late Saturday night (starting at 9PM), could only rehearse until 11PM (due to a noise ordinance), move all of our equipment off stage to accommodate the event the next morning, then move all of our equipment on stage following the morning event (ending at 9:50AM), and be ready to start playing prelude music at 10:15 AM. WHOA! I was STRESSED! But we trusted in the Lord, loaded all of our equipment, and headed to Montreat praying for a miracle. WELL, when we arrived, we discovered that there was a band playing music for the event, and they said we could use ALL of their equipment. This meant no need to worry about setting up, tearing down, etc. because it was already set up and would be set up the next morning. So while we did have to load all of our equipment and tote it up there, we didn't have to worry about any set-up and tear-down, and the stress of time constraints were washed away. We realized that we would NEVER have been able to have made everything happen it if weren't for that miracle. PRAISE THE LORD!
4. Devotion- that Sunday morning, we were feeling pretty awestruck at the Lord for what he had already done on our trip. We held a devotion following breakfast in which we discussed idolatry. We spent 45 minutes talking through some biblical concepts of idolatry, and how we can apply that our lives and our worship. Well during the service, there were 2 congregation responsive prayers that took directly from passages of scripture on idolatry and used other wordings that spoke about idolatry. WOW! We all started looking around at each other, feeling totally weirded out!
5. The Response- as I said, even through all the amazing reminders the Lord gave us about His faithfulness, we were still nervous about playing for the more traditional congregation. Following the sermon, we walked on stage to lead in "Revelation Song." As I said, the sermon centered around scripture that were right in line with the song, so we were hopeful the congregation would see the link, and be moved by the music. But "Revelation Song" is a pretty rocking song at times, so there was still uneasiness...but...WHOA! Frances Reid sang the solo of the song, and sang it beautifully, the rest of the band played with excellence, but more important the Spirit moved in a powerful way during the song. The congregation actually erupted in applause after the song was finished, and we were left with feelings of humility at how big God is and again left totally awestruck. Countless people approached us afterwards with compliments and words of encouragement.
All of these illustrations of God's faithfulness are just echoes of the resounding theme of the experience: When we are weak, He is STRONG! All of us in the band came into that experience feeling weak and afraid because we were stepping into the unknown. But thankfully we were stepping into the unknown by faith, and the Lord honored that by knocking us onto our knees and putting us in a state of surrender, allowing us to experience is awesome strength and sovereignty. Through every experience we were all humbled even more, moving us into a state of dependency and weakness; fertile soil for the Lord. What an amazing experience of holy revelation, and one that I will not soon forget!
Montreat Weekend Internal Processing Part I
Being the typical Introvert, I am just getting to the point where I have processed events in my life that occurred 2 months ago, ha! But there were some amazing ministry opportunities afforded to me this summer, and I wanted to write about one such opportunity. After writing this all out, I decided I needed to break this into 2 posts, so check out part II tomorrow:
Over the July 4th weekend, the First Pres Worship Team was given a chance to lead music and worship at the Montreat Conference Sunday morning worship, located in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina. By the grace of God, this was the only weekend this past summer where temperatures were actually extremely pleasant, which was awesome because there is no AC in the hotel we stayed or the worship auditorium. That was definitely a huge plus. However, despite the providential fortune of the weather, the band and I were very nervous about our weekend. Mainly because the style of music we play for worship is somewhat out of the box for Montreat Sunday Worship...some would say out of the box is generous because there has NEVER been that type of music used. So we were anticipating the worst, as far as response. But as we soon discovered, the gorgeous weather was just one of the ways that Lord revealed Himself to us, reminding us that that when we are weak, He is STRONG.
So here were some awesome evidence of God from that weekend:
1. The deposit- I was concerned how we were going to be able to afford our accommodations for the night, because the budget is tight, and there aren't a lot of options for lodging that are convenient to Montreat, aside from the Assembly Inn (out of our budget, we thought). BUT come to find out, First Pres had a non-refundable deposit with Montreat that had not been used, and needed to be used ASAP or else that would be money down the drain. I found out about it, booked individual rooms for all the band at the convenient and gorgeous Assembly Inn, and we were saved!
2. Scripture and Song choice- the week before, I was able to speak with the pastor that would be teaching that Sunday. He wanted to discuss some song choices, and see if there was any way we could support his message with some appropriate song choices. Of course, this made me nervous because I had already chosen songs, rehearsed them with the band, and submitted them to Montreat to print in the bulletin. But when he told me he would be preaching on Revelation 5, I had chills. The song I had submitted to Montreat to print in the bulletin for use after the sermon was a called "Revelation Song" which uses scriptures from Revelation 4 and 5! When I told him this over the phone, we both responded with some laughter, realizing that the Lord is our worship leader, bigger than all our plans and worries.
Part II to come tomorrow!!
Over the July 4th weekend, the First Pres Worship Team was given a chance to lead music and worship at the Montreat Conference Sunday morning worship, located in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina. By the grace of God, this was the only weekend this past summer where temperatures were actually extremely pleasant, which was awesome because there is no AC in the hotel we stayed or the worship auditorium. That was definitely a huge plus. However, despite the providential fortune of the weather, the band and I were very nervous about our weekend. Mainly because the style of music we play for worship is somewhat out of the box for Montreat Sunday Worship...some would say out of the box is generous because there has NEVER been that type of music used. So we were anticipating the worst, as far as response. But as we soon discovered, the gorgeous weather was just one of the ways that Lord revealed Himself to us, reminding us that that when we are weak, He is STRONG.
So here were some awesome evidence of God from that weekend:
1. The deposit- I was concerned how we were going to be able to afford our accommodations for the night, because the budget is tight, and there aren't a lot of options for lodging that are convenient to Montreat, aside from the Assembly Inn (out of our budget, we thought). BUT come to find out, First Pres had a non-refundable deposit with Montreat that had not been used, and needed to be used ASAP or else that would be money down the drain. I found out about it, booked individual rooms for all the band at the convenient and gorgeous Assembly Inn, and we were saved!
2. Scripture and Song choice- the week before, I was able to speak with the pastor that would be teaching that Sunday. He wanted to discuss some song choices, and see if there was any way we could support his message with some appropriate song choices. Of course, this made me nervous because I had already chosen songs, rehearsed them with the band, and submitted them to Montreat to print in the bulletin. But when he told me he would be preaching on Revelation 5, I had chills. The song I had submitted to Montreat to print in the bulletin for use after the sermon was a called "Revelation Song" which uses scriptures from Revelation 4 and 5! When I told him this over the phone, we both responded with some laughter, realizing that the Lord is our worship leader, bigger than all our plans and worries.
Part II to come tomorrow!!
Highlights from "Introverts in the Church"
I tend to have "eyes bigger than my stomach" when it comes to books. I'll go to the library and order and/or put holds on 5 books in anticipation of them coming available at different times so I can have a nice proportioned book diet (to keep with the eating analogy), but then of course they all come available pretty much at once, and I have to gorge myself on reading on books. This happened to me this summer, where I found myself wanting to put a towel over my bedside table so I wouldn't get stressed by the stack of unread, overdue books taunting me and my foolish book diet.
However after paying a couple of library fees, I was able to make it through my stack. One of the books I read was called "Introverts in the Church" by Adam McHugh. Of course my wife mocked me for reading such a thing, and this is probably not typical beach reading for the normal human being, but I really enjoyed the book.
So here are some highlights:
-energized by solitude-a geyser gets it's power from a subterranean water source, introverts derive their power from hidden spaces
- "Introverts don't avoid social interactions like trips to the dentist, but rather like we would avoid exercise; because we lack the energy. Long periods without quiet refueling leave introverts feeling physically exhausted and emotionally hollow."
- extroverts derive energy from outside themselves, like a reservoir relies on rainfall for water, they are filled by external sources. Too much time alone leaves them feeling drained.
- You have to distinguish between energy source and energy level.
- Introverts can recharge to a very high level of energy, but it is more quickly depleted than extroverts in social situations unless it's used efficiently. That's why a lot of introverts move a little slower, talk slower, and are often a little less high-strung.
- Introverts draw conclusions before speaking; that’s why interruptions are frustrating because we are forced to ponder new information before responding
- idea oriented- combination of solitude and internal processing leads to many introverts who are oriented towards ideas than they are interactions with people
- The quality of the day can often be gauged on the ideas, and we enjoy reflecting on our best experiences more so than we did actually living the experience
- Introverts have more active and busy brains than extroverts; More blood flow but in slower longer paths to the parts of the brain controlling long-term memory, solving problems, and planning
- Biblical Personalities- Peter displayed extroverted tendencies (quick to speak and reactive; Jacob described as a “quiet man”; Moses initially resisted the Lord because he was slow of speech and wary of public speaking
This certainly isn't all the things I gleaned, but it's just some of the stuff I found worthy to write down. The books also delves into introverted qualities of Jesus, and also practical ways for the Introverted Soul to navigate in the extroverted culture of ministry. It can definitely provide encouragement to any introverts struggling through feeling unworthy of the call of ministry due to their personalities.
So for any introverted or extroverted folks in the ministry, this book is a must read!
Was Jesus an Introvert?
Ok, I certainly I'm not going to even try put Jesus into a personality box, and I believe that He came to be all things to all people (even introverts), which motivated Paul to pursue the same (1 Corinthians 9:22-23). So I am not going to even try to claim the Son of God as the King of the Introverts. But the purpose of this blog is to free the introverts to see of the virtues of introversion, and some of those virtues were exhibited by Jesus. So I can think of no better person that can free the Introverted Soul than Jesus!
Here are ways Jesus exhibited the virtues of Introversion:
1. Energized by Solitude- 40 days in the wilderness, retreated from the crowds who clamoring for more, Luke describes him as often withdrawing himself from the multitudes
2. Internal Processing- sought alone time with God to process who were to be the 12 disciples, went to pray alone before the crucifixion, instructed us to pray privately
3. Depth over breadth- don't babble, Jesus spoke in parables which were often short and simple stories yet carried DEEP meaning
So there are some very Christ-like virtues that Introverts have! There are also some very extroverted qualities that are Christ-like, so I don't want to leave them out, BUT this a blog dedicated to introverted souls, so I can't help but be a little biased!
Here are ways Jesus exhibited the virtues of Introversion:
1. Energized by Solitude- 40 days in the wilderness, retreated from the crowds who clamoring for more, Luke describes him as often withdrawing himself from the multitudes
2. Internal Processing- sought alone time with God to process who were to be the 12 disciples, went to pray alone before the crucifixion, instructed us to pray privately
3. Depth over breadth- don't babble, Jesus spoke in parables which were often short and simple stories yet carried DEEP meaning
So there are some very Christ-like virtues that Introverts have! There are also some very extroverted qualities that are Christ-like, so I don't want to leave them out, BUT this a blog dedicated to introverted souls, so I can't help but be a little biased!
The introverted church
I love working at a church. I love being able to serve people, and working at a church, I'm able to publicly and intentionally serve people for the sole purpose of glorifying Jesus Christ, which is something I would never get in the business world, which is where the Introverted Soul started. So I wanted to get that out of the way before going deeper into this post.
One thing that challenges me at times in corporate worship settings is how to approach an introverted church. As the Introverted Soul, you would think I would be more sensitive to an introverted church, but I can't deny then when I'm worshiping among people that are more expressive and open during worship, it is energizing, encouraging, validating. The church I now serve has people who are very expressive in worship, but overall the folks would be classified as introverted with how they worship. The introverted church would describe their worship as reflective, cerebral, and reverent. Certainly nothing wrong with that, and I wholeheartedly believe those are God-honoring ways to worship. But the introverted church also needs to challenge itself as to whether the expressions are motivated by reverence or by self-consciousness, fear, or flat out disobedience--or said more simply, motivated by pride.
So the question is the introverted church motivated out of reverence or pride? I can see both sides. I have been in worship situations where I am in a mode where quiet reflection and meditation feels like feels obedient to the Spirit. I have also been in modes where I've literally felt like I've been lifted out of my seat and my arms were raised above my head almost like a puppet on a string (me=puppet, string=Holy Spirit). So I totally get that worship is expressed in many different ways. The key is being allowing yourself to be vulnerable and obedient to Spirit.
So the beef is when people are staunchly against allowing themselves to express certain forms of biblical worship. Some introverted church folks say they could never allow themselves to do such things as shout (Psalm 100) or raise their hands (Psalm 134:2) in the context of worship, and judge those who do. I think the fact they won't allow themselves even if the option of expressing themselves that way is pride. The extroverted types who constantly judge people who are more reserved are prideful as well, because outwardly expressive worship is not a tell-tale sign of obedient worship (see Psalm 46:10).
But to go back to addressing the introverted church, let's examine our motives and see where that takes us. I do believe our introversion can be reverently pure, but I would not want to use it as an excuse for pride.
One thing that challenges me at times in corporate worship settings is how to approach an introverted church. As the Introverted Soul, you would think I would be more sensitive to an introverted church, but I can't deny then when I'm worshiping among people that are more expressive and open during worship, it is energizing, encouraging, validating. The church I now serve has people who are very expressive in worship, but overall the folks would be classified as introverted with how they worship. The introverted church would describe their worship as reflective, cerebral, and reverent. Certainly nothing wrong with that, and I wholeheartedly believe those are God-honoring ways to worship. But the introverted church also needs to challenge itself as to whether the expressions are motivated by reverence or by self-consciousness, fear, or flat out disobedience--or said more simply, motivated by pride.
So the question is the introverted church motivated out of reverence or pride? I can see both sides. I have been in worship situations where I am in a mode where quiet reflection and meditation feels like feels obedient to the Spirit. I have also been in modes where I've literally felt like I've been lifted out of my seat and my arms were raised above my head almost like a puppet on a string (me=puppet, string=Holy Spirit). So I totally get that worship is expressed in many different ways. The key is being allowing yourself to be vulnerable and obedient to Spirit.
So the beef is when people are staunchly against allowing themselves to express certain forms of biblical worship. Some introverted church folks say they could never allow themselves to do such things as shout (Psalm 100) or raise their hands (Psalm 134:2) in the context of worship, and judge those who do. I think the fact they won't allow themselves even if the option of expressing themselves that way is pride. The extroverted types who constantly judge people who are more reserved are prideful as well, because outwardly expressive worship is not a tell-tale sign of obedient worship (see Psalm 46:10).
But to go back to addressing the introverted church, let's examine our motives and see where that takes us. I do believe our introversion can be reverently pure, but I would not want to use it as an excuse for pride.
What energizes the Introverted Soul?
A lot of time is spent here trying to define the Introvert, and the benefits and hindrances introversion has on leadership. One concept that keeps coming up is what energizes the Introvert, and we conclude that solitude and rest energizes the Introvert, where action and social activity energizes the Extrovert.
As the Introverted Soul, I totally concur with this definition, and as I've said, I see strong relation between many qualities of the Introvert and a healthy spiritual life (but of course, I am biased). However, I have landed on something that energizes me besides "alone time" and I guess it shouldn't come as a suprise considering what I do for a living.
It dawned me the other day after playing music for a group of students at a local church. After a normal workday (complete with tiresome social interactions:) I headed to lead worship for a group of about 15 students. Including set-up, rehearsal, and hanging out afterwards, this left me getting home at about 9:15 that night...You'd think that the Introverted Soul would have no desire to work a full day, voluntarily go and put on the extroverted hat for a very small group of people, until late in the evening. But I left that place completely refueled and happy as a clam!
Here some reasons why:
1. When in front of a crowd leading worship, it's more of a one on one time with me and God rather than something I'm doing in front of a bunch of people where I need to put the extrovert hat. Obviously I can't neglect my duties of leading the group, but I've found that the times when I'm more focused on the people in the room than I am on the Lord, I get distracted, I have the wrong motives, and my energy is drained. When I'm involved with authentic worship with the Lord, he tends to always fill my cup to overflowing.
2. For some reason, playing music transports me to another place...cue "Twilight Zone" theme...I know it sounds weird, but it simply brings something out of me. Or maybe a better way to say it is that it quiets those distractions around me and inside me, and it frees me to go to a place of peace and rest. Being the Introverted Soul, any time I can get some peace and rest is a good thing!
3. Quite simply, because I'm hitting in my sweet spot. I played a lot of baseball when I was younger, and nothing felt better than connecting the bat with the ball in the sweet spot of the bat...where you almost don't even feel it happen, there's no vibration, and you hit a line drive into the gap with what seems like less effort. Hitting in the sweet spot is an indescribable sensation. That's how I feel about what I get to do...It just feels right! I love the Church...I love leading the Church in worship of our Holy God, and I personally love doing that through music. I feel like I'm at batting practice and hitting line drives from the sweet spot almost everyday...what a blessing!
As the Introverted Soul, I totally concur with this definition, and as I've said, I see strong relation between many qualities of the Introvert and a healthy spiritual life (but of course, I am biased). However, I have landed on something that energizes me besides "alone time" and I guess it shouldn't come as a suprise considering what I do for a living.
It dawned me the other day after playing music for a group of students at a local church. After a normal workday (complete with tiresome social interactions:) I headed to lead worship for a group of about 15 students. Including set-up, rehearsal, and hanging out afterwards, this left me getting home at about 9:15 that night...You'd think that the Introverted Soul would have no desire to work a full day, voluntarily go and put on the extroverted hat for a very small group of people, until late in the evening. But I left that place completely refueled and happy as a clam!
Here some reasons why:
1. When in front of a crowd leading worship, it's more of a one on one time with me and God rather than something I'm doing in front of a bunch of people where I need to put the extrovert hat. Obviously I can't neglect my duties of leading the group, but I've found that the times when I'm more focused on the people in the room than I am on the Lord, I get distracted, I have the wrong motives, and my energy is drained. When I'm involved with authentic worship with the Lord, he tends to always fill my cup to overflowing.
2. For some reason, playing music transports me to another place...cue "Twilight Zone" theme...I know it sounds weird, but it simply brings something out of me. Or maybe a better way to say it is that it quiets those distractions around me and inside me, and it frees me to go to a place of peace and rest. Being the Introverted Soul, any time I can get some peace and rest is a good thing!
3. Quite simply, because I'm hitting in my sweet spot. I played a lot of baseball when I was younger, and nothing felt better than connecting the bat with the ball in the sweet spot of the bat...where you almost don't even feel it happen, there's no vibration, and you hit a line drive into the gap with what seems like less effort. Hitting in the sweet spot is an indescribable sensation. That's how I feel about what I get to do...It just feels right! I love the Church...I love leading the Church in worship of our Holy God, and I personally love doing that through music. I feel like I'm at batting practice and hitting line drives from the sweet spot almost everyday...what a blessing!
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